wow omg long time no see

my life is not in fact together... but at least it is a little different.

for example I currently have a kitten laying on my stomach making biscuits and suckling on my shirt.. bless his heart

my screen time has still been abysmal but I think overall I am still better than where I was a couple of months ago. I have moved into a slightly bigger space so I am able to move around more which is nice. I've got my own little family of three now. I really do enjoy having this little guy to look after. he has definitely helped me a lot.

since my time away my hair is now pink, I have turned a year older, started rewatching comfort shows, got a flip phone, and started a mildly successful recovery positive TikTok account where I have made many new lovely little friends in my phone. I have two concerts I will be going to, possibly three since a band I love is playing nearby. the logistics for the other concerts are completely unknown because they are both 3 hours away from me and I don't quite know how staying the night will go or where. should I figure that out? probably..

I am still in a place where I feel I have no real energy to do things, but that is probably my diet. which I definitely need to be more intentional about. I just wish life was easier and I wasn't constantly being poisoned and losing my mind. I also realized that my childhood chronic anxiety is not completely gone. and it sucks because I would really like to do what I need and want to without feeling anxious for no reason.

I just watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind last night and wow guys. if you haven't seen it go watch it, and if you have seen it, wow?? that was crazy and that was such a good movie. the cinnamontography. the way the beginning was the end..

my shirt is now soaking wet from little guy suckling on it and I have more stratches on my arms and stomach from the biscuits he's making. but he's just a baby so I don't mind.

I have missed writing. like period, I haven't journaled in so long which is what this is essentially. it just feels so daunting even though journaling helps me so immensely because it helps me remember and be able to communicate myself better to others when I work it out and talk it out within myself first through writing. I pray I get back into it soon. it's healing.

anyways I am going to go finish some ice cream and hopefully find something to eat. I love you all thanks for reading inside my brain i've missed u.

xoxo, maddison (genie) (super hot sexy funny girl)